Seems like every class I’ve taught has had the problem. I’ve seen it when I’ve observed in my daughter’s classes. At least one child  is picked on by another child. No - make that bullied by another child. The bullying child says mean things, purposely trips, pokes at, and just continually bothers that other child when they get the chance.

As a teacher, the frustration is that it is difficult to catch the bully in the act. For them to receive a consequence that will make them pause in the future, they really need to be caught in the act of bullying.

I needed a way to prevent the bullying. I knew that it happened while the class walked down the hall. That’s where I chose to make a change in my procedure.

I used to have my line leader lead my class, while I walked next to them. If a door needed to be held open, I’d hold it as my class walked on through. Problem was, I couldn’t see all of the class, thereby giving opportunity to those doing the bullying.

Here’s how I changed my line procedure, so that I could keep my entire class in sight.

I put the line leader first.

I assigned a new class helper position - door holder. They lined up second, even if no doors would need to be opened.

I called out various ways for the students to line up - sometimes by colors worn, by letters in their names, or by other ideas. I looked carefully to eliminate the possibility that the bully would be next to the child they picked on. If they still ended up next to each other, I put someone between them. I never said why, because they knew.

When we walked, we had certain places the leader was to stop and wait for all to catch up.

I walked next to the last child in line, allowing me to see everyone in the line.

They never went around a corner unless all of the class had caught up. And I always stood at the corner so I could see everyone on both sides of the turn. Isn’t peripheral vision great when we need it.

I found that keeping the class walking together, and keeping all of the children in my sight, eliminated the opportunity for bullying - at least during this part of the day. The child being picked on knew I was looking out for them. And the bully knew they were being watched.

I recently wrote about ways to encourage children to sit still for a story or book reading. And today I read a discussion on LinkedIn about the vocabulary author’s use when writing children’s books. Both reminded me that I’ve been told my daughter’s vocabulary, especially when she was 2 and 3 years old, seemed older than her age. I attribute it to two practices. First, we never talked down to her using baby-talk words. We had conversations with her, and used synonyms for new words if she didn’t understand.

Second, we’ve read a large variety of books to her and with her. We’ve followed certain characters, authors, illustrators, and series. Whenever we’ve come upon a new word, we used several techniques. We might automatically provide a synonym in the same sentence. If we could recall something from her past experiences that would help her learn the word, we would stop and help her recall that experience and make the connection. It could have been another book, somewhere we’d visited, a television show, or a conversation. Another technique we used was to stop and ask if she knew what the word meant. If she said no, we explained. And now, as we read nonfiction science books, we can use word parts to determine the word’s meaning. She wouldn’t be able to do that herself right now, yet I know it will give her a headstart on that skill when she encounters it in her schooling.

Doing these things that frequently, helped her learn that it was okay not to know all of the words she read, and that there were ways to figure them out. She frequently stops us now to ask what a word means.

The same techniques can be done with a class of children. Some of the chapter books that I loved to read to my students dealt with situations with which they had no experience. I’m thinking of The Indian in the Cupboard and knowledge of cowboys and indians. I stopped when needed to explain, to enable them to follow the story.

We want our children to read books that they can experience success when reading. Yet we also want them to continue growing in their language and knowledge. We can help by purposefully making connections for them.

How long can a little one sit to listen to a story? I have this discussion pretty frequently when I’m talking with parents about skills they’re working on with their child. Usually it’s a parent that really wants to enjoy reading books with their child, yet the child just won’t sit still for a book.

For children, their attention span is about twice their age. A three year old should be able to sit about 6 minutes to talk about and hear a book read. If you keep that in mind when selecting books, it will make story time more rewarding.

Another tip is to select a story that you’ll really enjoy reading. Why? Because you’re more likely to use different voices, or at least vary your speech as you read. That makes for more interest and variety, and it could increase the length of books read.

Does the child like music? If so, pick books that are song lyrics with pictures. Those were always favorites with my daughter, as she got mommy singing and a book at the same time. Those types of books are also good for building knowledge of how books work and later word recognition.

Books with favorite characters or favorite types of characters will be more interesting. My daughter was in love with ducks for about 2 years. I searched the library shelves for any books that had ducks on the cover. Then I’d check the story inside to see if it was a good length for her.

If you have other tips for selecting books for preschool children, please share. I know others will appreciate the input.

Today I took my daughter to a classmate’s home for an end-of-school/summer fun party with all of the class. Since school has already been out for two weeks, they were starting to miss each other. They definitely had loads of fun, and they all played really well together.

It reminded me that when we visit a friend’s house, I always remind my daughter of some social rules. It’s a chance for her to use what she’s been taught. That’s what all field trips are for - learning and using new skills.

Here’s what I want her to learn from visiting a friend’s house:

1. RSVP if invited, or wait to be asked over. If you knock on the door to play, wait to be asked inside.

2. Greet the friend and host.

3. Go where directed rather than wandering anywhere. They’ll decide where you’ll play.

4. Wait to be served or asked if you’d like a snack. And then follow their rules for where to eat.

5. Don’t do something you’re not allowed to do at your own home. No dressing up in the mom’s clothes, from her closet, if your own mom doesn’t allow that. (And should you even be in the parent’s closet?)

6. Clean up your mess.

7. Don’t overstay your welcome. If everyone else is leaving, you should too. If you’re tired and getting grouchy, it’s time to head home for quiet time.

What social rules do you teach your children about visiting at a friend’s?

As babies grow into toddlers, it helps to have another form of communication, rather than us doing all the talking for them like when they are infants. We found Baby Signs to be a great method. We focused on the signs for Eat, Drink, More, All Done, Thank you, You’re Welcome, Sorry, and Again. We’d sign and say the word at the same time. Eventually, we’d take our daughter’s hands and help her to make the sign. We found that she made some of them her own way. All Done is both palms up, and then turned over. Instead, she’d do that repeatedly, kind of twinkling them. But we understood. And that was the point. Communicating her needs and desires to us before she had the words to do so.

I know others that have used Baby Signs, learning and teaching even more of the words, and with the same success. It’s an effective way to prevent or lessen the tantrums that children have when they are frustrated and don’t know what else to do.

You can find certified instructors at www.babysigns.com. There is also www.weehands.com.

And I can’t forget the most important sign, that we used multiple times throughout the day, still - I Love You. From across the room, it’s a silent way to give them your support and reassurance.

Ever seen a child have a meltdown because they didn’t want to stop what they were doing?  Ever get totally annoyed when you are interrupted while intensely involved in an activity?

Children are the same. They just don’t always have the words to express their frustration. So they use a ‘language’ we understand - crying and screaming.

Follow these steps to help children keep a figurative eye on the clock.

1. Tell them in the morning what the plan is for the day. For example, “We’ll have breakfast, get dressed, go to the library, have lunch at home, go to your gym class, and then go home for dinner. You should be able to play with the neighbors today too.”

2. If the day’s plans change, let them know in simple terms.

3. Remind them of what’s next. “We’re done with breakfast. Now let’s get dressed and go to the library.”

4. When they are really engrossed in an activity, or really enjoying where they are, give them advance warning that the time is almost up. I’ve found that just saying they have another 5 minutes lets them know to start finding a good ending for their play or activity. At a library, maybe it’s when they select one more book.

5. Give them another reminder, perhaps at about 2 minutes of time left.

6. When time is up, and you need to transition to another part of the day, remind them also of what’s next. “It’s time to clean up now. When things are all cleaned up, we’ll go for a walk.” (Cleaning up - that’s another post.)

7. If they show frustration, give voice to that for them. “I know you are frustrated. Maybe next time you can work on the same thing.”

This is helpful for little ones as well as school-age children in classrooms. After all, we could all use help with time and self management.

The passage of time is a hard concept for preschool children. They want to know when things will happen. My daughter’s latest inquiry, “How long until the babysitter comes?”

I’ve found that if I answer by comparing to something she cares about and experiences on a repeated basis, then she understands better how long her wait might be. For the babysitter question, I answered that she’d come in about the same amout of time as 3 dance classes (to equal 3 hours). About an hour later, she asked again, and was excited when I said, “About 2 dance classes.”

Sometimes I compare to how long her favorite tv show lasts. Perhaps it’s how long it takes to drive to the grocery store. What about the amount of time we spend eating dinner?

Start with what’s relevant to their world, and then connect it to hours and minutes. They likely won’t be ready for a lesson using a clock. Yet they’ll eventually come to understand elapsed time. And that can lessen how many times we have to answer questions like, “How long until we get there?”

While we were at the Botanical Gardens the other day, watching the bug show, children were moving closer to the stage area and then back to their parents. My daughter did the same. She finally decided to sit on one of the amphitheater steps. Two brothers sat next to her. Both were very fair, with very fair hair. My daughter has very dark hair. Quite a contrast! And the littlest of the brothers, probably 18-24 months old, noticed. He was so intrigued, he reached out to touch her hair. I was proud of her for not saying anything, since he was little. And I know she wondered what he was doing. I didn’t tell her she used to do the same thing, although usually with us assisting.  Like the time she stared and stared at the first beard she saw. We asked if she could feel his beard, and our friend was tickled and happy to oblige her.

Little children are intrigued by things that look interesting. To them, different is often interesting. And because they learn through all of their senses, touching tells them even more about what they’re seeing.

I used to take my daughter’s hand, when she was younger than a year old, and help her touch the things she stared at. Frequently, it was something with an interesting texture.

Then take it further, and give children the words to describe what they’re touching. “Isn’t this a neat rock wall? Look at the different colors we see - gray, tan, white. And feel how rough the stones are. They feel cold too, don’t they?”

Rather than limiting their exploration, support it. Help them explore safely, and provide the language to build those brain connections.